I Need You.

Weslyn still hasn't figured out the difference between needing something and wanting something. "I need lotion"..."I need your tools, Daddy"..."I need Momma's phone"... "I need my toy"... "I need a cheese stick." These are just a few among many "needs" she has on a daily basis. Really, anything we have in our hands at any given moment she feels like she "needs" as well. We're slowly teaching her the difference between needing something and wanting something. She's starting to get it and request, "I would like" instead of "I need."

I've been learning the difference too. I think for the longest time I've wanted God in my life. I've made daily decisions to want more of Him, to want Him involved. I'm not convinced I can honestly say I've felt like I need God at all times. There are definitely times I do need God that I can give examples of from my past. For the most part, when times are good, I think I've only made an effort to want God in my life. This explains a lot of things. My prayer life isn't the greatest, I rely so much on my own strengths and my emotions get the best of me...a lot. I have control issues and I'm incredibly stubborn. That's probably a lot more than you want to know, but it's the truth I'm discovering about myself right now.

This past week has been one of the most difficult weeks of my life. I'm beginning to realize my need for God every day, every hour, every moment. Not only come to the realization, but surrender to it. I've had a friend teach me this through her struggle. She's had an incredible need for God this week and has really relied on Him for all of her strength. She's been the example I need to show me how much I need God at all times. I need His grace so much because my sin runs that deep.

I need God if I want to be a better mother, wife and friend. I need God if I want to be used in my church. I need God if I want to be used in the lives of the ones I love. Without Him, I mess up in all of these areas. I'm so glad He loves me enough and freely offers Himself to me everyday, every hour and every moment.