Impressionable.

Weslyn has certainly developed quite the personality since turning 1 year old. Now at 22 months, she is talking all the time, vocalizing some strong opinions and learning from everything and everyone around her. I've slowly noticed how much she wants to be like me. She wants to wear lotion, put hairspray in her hair, wear high heels (which I own but no longer really wear), put on my pearls, wear my scarves, etc. Anything I do and anything I own, she wants to do it and wants to have it. This behavior has been adorable and flattering. Lawton and I get such a kick out of her playing dress up and wanting to be involved in all things mommy and daddy. It hit me recently though that with this cute behavior comes some huge responsibility on our part, especially mine. As the mother of a daughter, she is watching my every move and wants to model after it. That my friends is a whole lot of pressure.

Our children are impressionable. Extremely impressionable. They are like sponges and whatever is put in front of them, they are soaking up. They are building their character, self-image and values in life. They are forming opinions about the world, themselves, people and God. The words that comes out of our mouths and the things we do are being watched all the time. This is definitely not a call to perfection, but a call to intention. Are we being intentional about what we present to our children or any children around us? We are trying to make this world a "better place" right now, but are we really looking to make our world better if we aren't looking at the children and our own behavior? Whew, that's a lot to take in as a mom who is with a child all day long.

My prayer is not only for my child, but for all the kids I serve and I'm around that I can make a lasting impression on them that helps shape and mold them to be a loving person. A person who loves God and people. All people. I only know one way to do this, to strive to live out the gospel everyday. The perfect example, the person who made the best impression on everyone lived and died for love. The love He had for us. Before He made that sacrifice, He lived out the example in perfect form. He knew we were impressionable creatures, especially our children. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” In other words, kids go to Jesus when figuring out who you want to be. Parents, point to Jesus when your children are trying to figure out their lives. Christians, follow Jesus and strive to be like Him. If this is your intention, you're making the best impression for the little lives around you who are our world's future. Your intention is love.

Like I said, it's been fun to watch Weslyn develop and grow into her personality. She's a firecracker for sure.  Loves to tumble around, play dress up, put stickers on everything and is such a little helper. As she develops and grows, she's  looking at everything and everyone around her to figure out who she wants to be and what she wants to do. Help me Lord to point to You. If I point the Him, I know I'm pointing to love. 

Two Is Better Than One.

The last couple of weeks have been a mix of emotions and challenges for the Graves household. I must confess (not that it comes as a surprise to people who know me) I'm very independent, almost to a fault. I enjoy completing tasks and I find a sense of pride in doing things on my own. I like finding the best way to do something and finishing it out with my own two hands. Being a stay-at-home mom has only fueled this independence. I get to set my own rules, be the boss and take care of little people. Oh, this is where I find comfort. The Lord recently gave me a huge wake up call after getting out of the hospital two weeks ago. "You're on light bed rest. You can get up to go to the bathroom, take a shower and do some things...but no long trips or strenuous activities." To which I responded, "Does taking care of a toddler, grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning my house, etc count as strenuous activities?" "Yes."

That one word would soon be the death of my prideful independence. How am I supposed live my life if I can't do any of those things? You mean, I have to ask for help? I'm usually the one being asked to help and to be honest I love that. I told my doctor, it may literally drive me crazy to ask for that much help. She literally didn't care. I wasn't allowed to keep up with what I was doing if I wanted to keep this baby in the cooker. So I set out to begin asking for help from my hospital bed. Calling on family, my church and friends to come help. Having people help with Weslyn while I was in a hospital bed wasn't too bad. I really couldn't take care of her as I was hooked up to monitors, so I felt like I had a good excuse. When I got out of the hospital, that was a whole new ball game. We've had people in and out of the house, bringing meals, taking care of Weslyn, not letting me do much. Not to mention what my husband has done. He has been dad, mom, house cleaner, cook, etc for two weeks now. He doesn't stop until he's ready for bed. This has been the hardest. We've worked so much in our marriage to help each other at all times, we've never been in the place where one person was making all the effort. At the end of my rope, the Lord beckoned me to slow down and realize what He was doing through one of my devotions.

"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 

Whittney Capps wrote the devotion "I Am Not Alone" a couple days ago and it pierced my prideful, independent heart. The Lord was really showing me that my resistance to rely on help from others was a direct reflection of how I rely on Him, which apparently is not enough. Ouch. The only time I felt true peace and freedom to rely on the Lord's strength was when all the control was out of my hands in the hospital. I tried to take back the reigns when I got out, but thankfully He kept them. My prayer is that He continues to keep them and when I take them back, I have the wisdom to realize what I'm doing and the courage to give them back (thanks, Andy Stanley). 

I'm so thankful for these people the Lord has used in our lives throughout this process. Grateful for the prayers, meals, company, books, netflix, text messages, cleaning, cooking, the help. I'm truly blessed, not only with this help, but to have the reminder from a God who loves me so that He will be my strength. Not just in the times when there's nothing else I can do. I can choose for Him to be my strength and support in any circumstance. Thank you Lord.

Here are some photos of just some of the help we've received. This doesn't even include meals, weekend baby sitting from friends, long phone calls (thanks, Charlie), sweet text messages, gifts, visits to the hospital, etc. 

Coloring with Gabby, Ellie and Izzie.

Playing the piano at Heather & Izzie's house

Playdoe at the Houghs

Pool with Gigi. Stylin' in Gigi's hat.

Spent the day with Jennifer & Heidi

Daddy always taking care of everyone.

Emo came in town for three days to take care of us.

Spent the day with Janie, Annabelle and Vivian.

Lots of days and evenings with Gigi and G'daddy. 

Thanks to all:)

Desert Song

This is a song near and dear to my heart. When I was in high school I began attending a youth group at a local church that was used to change my life. The friends, mentors and best of all the good news I discovered at Oneighty @ Grace Family Church certainly had a life long affect on me and my relationship with Jesus. Another aspect that I've always been thankful for was the music that so ministered to my heart. Throughout my relationship with Jesus, I've always been able to turn on a song about Him and it has helped change my heart in that given moment to be closer to Him. I think everyone has a different way that God has wired them to be present and connect with Him. Mine has always been through music. It gives me the words to praise Jesus. For me, songs about the Lord often bring scripture to life and give me a way to praise Him.

Desert Song has ministered to me for years in more than one way.I first heard this song at Oneighty when Chantal, a beautiful and talented worship leader who is now with Jesus, sang it for a group of broken, confused and thirsty teenagers. No matter where I've been in my life, this song has really taken all of the emotion I feel and can't make sense of and uses it for His good. This song first ministered to me when my father passed away in high school. Then in college when I couldn't figure out the path God had me on. Then after the birth of my first child when I went through many of us moms call "baby blues". And now, as I sit in a hospital bed and have doctors and nurses monitor the baby in my belly. As I listen to a doctor tell me news that vary from having a completely healthy child all the way to the possible complications I could have at any moment. All I can think of throughout this process is I will bring praise.

This song has ministered to me in many situations, which I felt at the time were extremely difficult, but this time I feel even more of a need to lean into the words of this song. It's more than a song. It's a prayer and a plea. A proclamation bringing me out of my emotional, broken and confused state to a place where I find peace, security and strength. All of my life in every season, you are still God. I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to worship. Blessed beyond words can express, this baby is healthy right now and the environment he or she is in is safe. They say I should be able to go home soon since things are looking much better. Even if that changes I hope my prayer will continue to be that I will bring praise, I will bring praise. No weapon formed against me shall remain. I will rejoice, I will declare. God is my victory and He is here.

              "Desert Song" (listen here)
This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me, Lord, through the flame

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

And this is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow